


If You're Asking

by electrictoes



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Friends to Lovers, I don't know how else to tag this, They just need to get together already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28935024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrictoes/pseuds/electrictoes
Summary: Post 22x06; Amanda stops by Sonny's office with a proposal.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins
Comments: 45
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You ever start writing something and realise you've written something completely different? That's this. I'd intended on some light H/C idiots in love and denial, but Amanda had other ideas.

Since New Year’s it had proven near impossible for Amanda to get more than ten minutes alone with Carisi. He had been working himself to the brink, and she hadn’t been doing much better. After facing Barba in court he had been washed out; emotionally drained. She had tried to encourage him to come over, hoped they’d have time to talk – but he had asked for another rain check, told her he was heading out to spend the weekend with his parents. It wasn’t even like he was avoiding her; he had called her several times over the weekend - the noise and clamour of the Carisi family in the background – and they’d made plans for the week ahead, but then Jesse picked up a vomiting bug at preschool and passed it on to Billie. He’d offered to still come over, help her out with the girls, but she didn’t see any sense in him getting sick too. 

It had been a miserable week for her; within two days a selfish part of her was tempted to take him up on his offer, but instead they had text every day, several times a day; he’d called a couple of evenings, just to chat. She knew he was having a hard time of it at work; knew that Kat was pushing him, that part of him still felt out of place now that he was an ADA; to the side of the squad, not a part of it.

When she finally got back to work, there was yet another difficult case, another courtroom showdown, another person pushing at him. He didn’t say it out loud but Amanda knew that his confrontation with Gallagher had rattled him. Liv had told her the whole thing had almost come to blows. He was on a knife edge and he needed a break. He’d been there for her so many times before, and she wanted to repay that kindness; more than that, she wanted to show him how much she cared. She was just working on figuring out the how.

She swung by his office just before 5pm, let herself in without knocking. He had a case file open on his desk, one hand running through his greying hair. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and Amanda wondered when he had last slept through the night.

He looked up at her as she entered and gave her a weak smile, “Rollins, hey.”

“Hey,” she smiled back at him. “Thought I’d drag you away from here. You look like you could use a break. A drink.”

“I’m swamped,” he said, gesturing the files piled up on his desk. “The Gallagher case just left more things pilin’ up.”

Amanda watched him for a moment, the set of his shoulders, the tension between his eyes. It worried her, seeing him like this. She knew how hard he had worked to get here, knew how much this job meant to him, but she wasn’t going to let it bury him.

“I’m not taking no for an answer, Dominick,” Amanda said firmly. “Come on, grab your coat. The work will still be there in the morning.”

He shook his head, “I can’t.”

“I’ve booked a table for dinner,” she said, “Sienna’s staying overnight with the girls, so you and I are going out, and we don’t have to be back for bedtime.”

“I - what?”

“We’re going out; dinner, drinks. Let’s see where the night takes us.”

Carisi looked up at her, his frown deepening. “I’m not gonna be great company, and I’ll be a lousy wingman.”

Amanda took a deep breath; maybe it was time to take a risk.

“Oh, I don’t need a wingman tonight, Carisi, I’m already doing all this work myself.” She bit her lip, carefully watching his reaction. “You gotta meet me halfway.” 

His brow furrowed. “Are you askin’ me out on a date?”

“Maybe,” Amanda shrugged, feeling her face flush. She couldn’t read his expression – couldn’t tell if she was too late. So she gave him an out. “Or maybe it’s just a meal between friends. Ball’s in your court.”

Carisi didn’t move for a moment, still sat behind his desk, his mouth slightly agape as he played her words back to himself. “Uh, yeah?” he said. “If you’re askin’, then yeah.”

“Okay, then I’m asking.”

“Okay, uh. Yeah. Yes. I – uh. Definitely. Just give me five.” 

“Sure; I’ll wait outside.”

Sonny took a deep breath once his office door closed behind Amanda. Took half a minute to compose himself. 

He glanced towards the door; through the blinds he could see Amanda on the phone. There was a smile on her face – a real, genuine smile, like she was happy, like she was waiting on something good. 

He let a matching smile fill his own face. He had hardly believed the words as they came from Amanda’s mouth – when she’d walked in, asked him to pack up and head out, he’d wanted nothing more, but he didn’t feel like he’d be good company at all. He might have still been feeling a little bruised from his run in with Gallagher; although by rights he should be celebrating, and he had allowed himself a moment after Judge Lewis’ sentencing, he just couldn’t shake the sting of Gallagher’s words – that he would never belong, something he’d been feeling more and more in recent weeks. 

He felt detached from everything. He didn’t fit in at the District Attorney’s office, not yet, not the way he’d hoped to – and there would always be men like Chip Gallagher making sure he knew it – and he had felt pushed out of the squad back at SVU, too. After going up against Barba he’d realised just how much his career move had affected those relationships, had put a strain on their friendships, on the family he’d found there. So he hid behind work, used it as a convenient excuse not to put himself out there – even with Amanda. Amanda, his best friend; keeping him close even through all of this. There had been some fall out, sure, and things had taken some getting used to. The thing he missed most about being a cop was being Amanda’s partner. But since they’d aired it all – loudly, in the squad room for all to hear – and then taken the time to talk things through, they were now back on an even keel. Friends again, and he hadn’t wanted to do anything to upset that balance despite a secret hope that some professional distance might change things for them personally, and so just friends it was. Until now, apparently. 

He’d felt stupid – his cheeks red – when the question fell out of his mouth. He was only half serious – opening up a flirtation, a dance they’d done before. He shouldn't have, really, but by the time his brain caught up to his mouth the words were out. Then she’d thrown him off-kilter with that maybe. Like she wasn’t sure they were still on the same page, and he – Dominick Carisi Jr, born with the gift of the gab – had stumbled through his response.

Now there she was, waiting for him; for their date. 

He wished he’d brought a change of clothes, wished he had a mirror somewhere so he could check his reflection – though he knew how ridiculous that was, knew Amanda had seen him far less presentable than he was right now. 

He closed up his open case files, moved them into his desk drawer. Took one more deep breath before grabbing his wallet and his keys, pulling on his coat as he stepped outside to meet her. “Fancy seein’ you here,” he said.

“Fancy that,” Amanda smiled back, holding out her hand for him to take, and just like that – here they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued..?
> 
> Thank you for reading - hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Please excuse any pandemic related inaccuracies - google was not spectacularly helpful in telling me what the restrictions are in New York right now, so I just ran with the fact bars and restaurants seemed to be open in the New Year's episode and hoped for the best!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone who read/commented/left kudos on the first part of this; I hope this second part is something like you were hoping for.

Amanda’s hand slipped easily into Sonny’s as they walked towards the elevators; her heart fluttered in her chest at the contact and she mentally chastised herself - they’d touched before, been much closer than this, but she couldn’t help but feel a small thrill as his fingers curled around hers. She hardly spared a glance for the few people they passed on their way out – if Fin was to be believed half the people in Carisi’s office already thought they were dating anyway – instead her eyes flicked up to Carisi – taking in the little smile he was barely holding back, the way his postured had relaxed since she’d entered his office - a lightness that seemed to have come over him.

They didn’t speak until they were in the elevator; the doors closed behind them and she smiled up at him, a little nervous. It was ridiculous. This was her best friend, someone she trusted with her life, with her children’s lives. She had known him for years, how was something as simple as her hand in his reducing her to a giddy eighth grader?

Sonny rocked back on his heels a little as the lift descended. “So we’re really doing this?”

“Yeah,” she squeezed his hand in hers. “We are.”

When the elevator hit the lobby they walked out into the cold January air, Carisi stopping just outside the door. “Which way we headed?”

“Any - I booked the table for six-thirty, I thought we could just walk first.”

That wasn’t entirely true - she hadn’t booked the table until after he said yes, hastily calling the restaurant whilst Sonny packed up for the night, and she'd taken the first table they had. She hadn’t walked into his office planning on a date, hadn’t anticipated this moment now. Sure, she’d hoped to coax him to go for a drink or two, to maybe gather the courage to tell him how she felt, what she wanted. It was something she’d been wanting to do for a while – she’d tried to invite him for drinks during the Sir Toby case, but he’d shot her down. She knew it wasn’t personal but it had taken a long time for her to get up the courage again; so if she’d leapt a little further than she’d planned, well, who could blame her?

“Sounds good to me,” Sonny said, and so they walked. After a brief moment of silence, they settled into the comfort of their usual conversations. Just like any other walk they’d been on, even if she remained hyper aware of their connected hands.

“Hey, so, did I tell you, Bella and Tommy are having another baby? Course you know Nikki’s about due with another one so my ma’s still not winning this grandkid battle she’s got with my Aunt Beth.”

“Is that still going on?”

They talked casually, about their families, their friends, laughing together, enjoying each other’s company. Amanda had missed this; they didn’t have so much time for the everyday sort of conversations now that they weren’t working together. They had spent so little time just the two of them lately; she loved how great he was with her girls, but this meant just as much to her.

When they arrived at the restaurant, some of the nerves that had dissipated on their walk began to creep up on Amanda again; butterflies in her stomach, real first date kind of feelings. But this was Sonny. Somehow that fact, a thing that should have made her less nervous, just hyped up the butterflies more. It was a different kind of first date; sure, she knew him, knew what kind of man he was, knew he wasn’t going to bolt at the first mention of her kids or her job, but the stakes were a lot higher; more to gain, more to lose.

Sat opposite Sonny, Amanda watched him fidgeting with his napkin, glancing down his the menu and then up at her; he looked as nervous as she felt. Amanda reached a hand out to place on top of his. “You doing okay there, partner?”

Sonny shrugged, “Not gonna lie, I’m nervous as hell.”

She smiled. “Me too. Weird, huh?”

“I mean, it’s stupid, right? I know you, you know me, you’ve seen me do and say a whole lotta stupid stuff already.”

Amanda laughed at that, “And I still put up with you.”

“Look, I’m not saying I don’t want this to be a date, because I definitely do, but maybe-”

“We need to put less pressure on it?”

He nodded. “I want to enjoy this, without worrying about something going wrong, or that I’m gonna screw it all up at the end of the night.”

“You are something, you know that, Carisi?” She squeezed his hand again.

“What’s that mean?”

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

“Huh?”

Amanda leant right over the table, and after a beat Carisi caught on; their lips met and Amanda brought up a hand to cup his cheek, deepening the kiss. The butterflies were still going strong, but when they pulled apart it was with a smile.

“Now we don’t have to spend the whole meal wondering about that happening,” she said.

Carisi took a few seconds before responding, “Yeah, now I’m just gonna be wondering when I can do it again.”

Leaving the restaurant Sonny held out his arm for Amanda to loop hers through. He hadn’t wanted to leave, would happily have dragged out dessert and coffee if he could’ve, but the restaurant was filling up, and they needed the table back. Sonny could still barely believe that the two of them had finally got their acts together enough to be here; he didn’t want it to end too soon, so as they'd approached a bar he'd stopped. “You wanna grab a drink?”

“Sure, It’s getting kind of cold out,” Amanda said.

Sonny steered them into the bar. It wasn’t too crowded – they found a table easily enough, and Sonny went up to the bar to order drinks. Whilst he was waiting for the bartender he looked back over his shoulder at Amanda; she was looking right at him and she raised an eyebrow as their eyes met. He flashed her a grin before turning back to the bartender.

They were two drinks in, sitting close together, laughing as Amanda relayed a story Fin had told her earlier in the week. It was comfortable; it felt right, like he was exactly where he should be.

“Another drink?” Amanda asked as he drained his beer bottle.

Sonny shook his head; he didn’t want to cloud the rest of their night with alcohol, didn’t want to blur anything between them, not now that they were finally here. The bar was getting busier, too, and louder. He was ready to go somewhere more private.

“You want to call it a night?”

“No!” He said, a little faster than he’d intended. “You said Sienna’s at your place, right? Overnight?”

“Yeah, I don’t need to rush back. What are you thinking?”

“We could go back to my place?” He held up a hand before she could answer. ““I’m not pushing or expectin’ anything.”

“I know. I know you’re not that kind of guy.”

“So, uh?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

The cab journey across town took far too long. Amanda rested had rested her head against his shoulder and they sat in a comfortable silence. He took the opportunity to drink her in; to look at her in the ways he had always wanted to, without having to look away for fear of being caught, of making things awkward between them. He hadn’t ever wanted to make her uncomfortable; he’d resigned himself to just being her friend, to making that be enough. He’d wanted nothing more than for her to be happy, and so he’d stepped back, let her make her own choices. He might not have been thrilled about how everything played out – he’d never really trusted Doctor Al - but he loved Billie so fiercely that he couldn’t imagine things being different, and so he wouldn’t keep looking back. They’d start where they were now, in this moment, where he could take her in. She was beautiful, that had never been a question, but there was more to it than that – the smile playing at the corner of her lips, the way she closed her eyes and moved closer to him, the little things.

“You staring at me, Carisi?”

“Might be,” he said. “Checkin’ you’re still awake.”

“I am,” she said, opening her eyes and looking up at him. “Just thinking.”

“What about?”

“You, mostly,”

“Oh yeah?” Sonny bent his head and brought his lips to Amanda’s; she reciprocated eagerly, and he brought his hands up to cup her face, drawing her close to him. After what felt like seconds, but must have been minutes, the cab came to a stop and the driver coughed loudly, interrupting them. “We’re here.”

Up in his apartment Sonny suddenly found himself unsure again; his earlier nerves creeping back in now that they were alone again. He couldn’t remember the last time Amanda had been at his apartment – years ago, probably. When he’d come down with a bad flu and she’d brought over cold medicine and soup from the deli down the street; he’d only been half lucid and he’d called her an angel - she'd ribbed him over that for about a week.

Having her here now put him on the back foot. They only usually hung out at her place – it made sense, with the girls and everything – and being here together just brought to the surface how different and new this was. He found himself rambling – talking just to give himself something to do.

“So, I’ve got some beers in the fridge; or soda I mean, we don’t have to drink. Water, obviously. There’s probably some snacks about somewhere, I don’t know, I haven’t been grocery shopping yet this week, but I’m sure I can find-”

“Dominick.”

He stopped, looked over at Amanda – she had sat at one end of his couch, kicked her shoes off and curled her legs underneath her. She looked at home. He walked over and sat down beside her, letting her lean into him again.

“I’m sorry, I’m talking too much. I know, I know that’s nothin’ new, but I’m just - tonight has been… so good. Being with you, spending time together, you don't know how much I’ve missed that,” he moved his arm around her, his fingers resting on her shoulder, “and getting to do this - to hold your hand, kiss you, I mean. I’m happy. Don’t want to screw it up.”

“Carisi – Dominick, I’m happy too – you make me happy. It’s taken me some time to admit to that out loud, but I’m not about to run out the door if you say the wrong thing, okay?”

She turned, moving away from his outstretched arm, and reached her hands up to cup the back of his head, pulling him in closer to her as their lips met. As their kiss deepened they shifted together until he was lying over her, her hands reaching up to loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt. His own hands found the warm skin beneath her blouse and he let out an involuntary groan. Amanda pulled back from their kiss to smirk at him as she pushed his shirt from his shoulders. Their eyes met and he dove back into their kiss before breaking it off, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

“Amanda,” he said, moving to sit up, “I don’t want to rush this.”

Amanda sat up too, shuffling forward to close the gap he’d created between them. “We’ve taken the long way to get here, Sonny; I don’t think anyone could accuse us of rushing.”

He smiled. “I know, but… this isn’t just about sex for me, you know that, right?”

“Me either. If it was we’d have been there, done that, about four years ago,” she stroked his cheek. “I’m all in, okay?”

She kissed him again, then drew back, giving him a moment to make a choice. Amanda was right – maybe they were moving quickly today, but only after six and a half years of dancing around it. He leaned in to the space she had given him, drew her close again. They’d waited long enough.

Amanda awoke to the sound of Sonny’s alarm clock. He groaned and reached over to press snooze, dislodging her head from where she was comfortably resting against his chest. He opened his eyes, as though only just remembering she was there; realisation crept across his face and he smiled down at her. “Hey, sorry.”

“Mm,” Amanda moved her head back to its earlier position. “You should be.”

“Good morning,” he said, pressing his lips to the top of her hair. She tilted her head to return his smile, and he leaned down again, this time kissing her lips.

“Morning,” she said back. “What time’s it?”

“Six. You good?”

She moved back until she could rest her head on the pillow next to his. “More than. You?”

“So good.” Sonny turned so that he was facing her, and reached a hand out, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I haven’t slept this good in… I don’t know how long.”

“Me either. Last night was…”

“A long time coming?” She laughed. He wasn’t wrong about that.

“Well, yeah... it’s cheesy to say perfect, but it was pretty close.”

“I can live with that.”

He leaned over her, dropping his head to kiss her again, she leaned up into him as he pushed the sheets away from them both. He moved to plant kisses along her jaw and down her neck. She groaned and placed a hand on his cheek, when he drew back she took his face in her hands, redirecting him to her lips; one hand moving to his hair as she deepened the kiss.

The blare of his alarm clock interrupted them, his five minute snooze time over. He broke away to silence the alarm and Amanda sat up beside him. “I should… we should pause this.”

“Do you really want to?” He sat up too, his hand trailing down her arm until he took her fingers in his. She wished they had the time to finish what they had just started – wished they had the whole day to spend in bed, but real life was beckoning.

“No, but we’ve got work, and I need to stop by my place and get a fresh outfit or Liv is going to _know_ the second I walk into the squad room. And I’d like to see the girls for breakfast.”

Sonny nodded and smiled, drawing back. “Of course. Fair enough.” He looked understanding, if a little disappointed. She didn’t want to say goodbye just yet either, even if she would see him later at work.

  
She slid out of the bed, his eyes on her, watching her as she gathered up yesterday’s clothes. She had slept in an old t-shirt he’d given her, one she had no intention of giving back now; she pulled on her jeans before walking back over to him, leaning down for another kiss. “You could… come with?”

“Now?”

“Yeah, Jesse’ll be thrilled to see you. Jealous that we had a sleepover she wasn’t invited to, but…”

“Sure, I’d love to. Let me get ready and we’ll head over now.”

She sat on the end of the bed, watching as he got up and looked through his closet, choosing an outfit for the day. “And hey, if you wanted to pack an overnight bag, stay the weekend, I’m sure the girls would love it.”

He turned to look at her. “The girls, huh?”

“Well, there might be something in it for me too,” she said, and he laughed. He pulled an empty duffel bag from his closet and smiled at her.

“I think I can manage that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I have rewritten this about five times, but it is unbetaed so any mistakes are on me.  
> It's also a bit choppier than I would've liked but...


End file.
